The New Year

   Yes, yes I know this is dreadfully late to be posting a "new year" blog, but it's still January, so it's no too bad! 
   I read a post by a wonderful, beautiful lady about having a new years revolution, instead of just a resolution. Read that post here. :) 
   I've been thinking the same things lately; thinking about what people say about me when I'm not around. I want to think they have only good things to say, but that just shows my flawed heart and how selfish I really am (therefore giving people more negative things to say!). Round and round we go.
   So, this year, this new year, I want to be more intentional. What that means exactly, I won't know until the situation is looking me in the face. But, as a starting point, I want to intentionally encourage others around me. Make a point to compliment, build up, and say a kind word to someone else. Not falsely, but out of a heart that wants to makes others feel valued and loved.     

The daunting stairs to my basement, then the view right and left once you're at the bottom! Yikes!!!

   I also want to clean up my life. No, not any bad habits (I quite like the ones I've got! Hehe...), but my actual surroundings! We've accumulated a lot (A LOT!) of stuff it seems in the last year. My basement is a cave of scary stacks of bins, bags, boxes, fans, lamps, canvases, deep freezers, etc., etc., etc! Why? Why?!?! I know why-out of sight, out of mind! 
   Well, my plan for 2015 is to get rid of 2,015 things! Literally, I will be keeping count! I only mentioned my scary basement, but I also have some scary closets, laundry room/dog room/animal feed storage room (imagine that disaster!), and our toy situation is out. Of. Control!!! So, I plan on chipping away at our life of material goods, and getting back to the basics. I will keep you posted (as well as keeping count) of where I am in my 2,015 things! 

   The last thing I want to learn this year is how to love myself. Yikes. That made me feel jumpy just typing it out.
   I'm not talking about loosing a certain amount of weight, or getting a six pack, I'm just talking about loving myself no matter what I look like. Some people honestly and naturally have a love of their bodies and how they look. I have personally never been that way. I can remember maybe once in my life thinking, "alright, I think I look o.k?", and that was as close as I got to approving of myself. 
   Whatever the reason, be it media, upbringing, chemical imbalances, I don't know, but I have always been poking at and disliking how I looked. My sister showed me this woman's story, and I am deciding (though not even close to being "there" yet) to have a body image revolution. 
   I want to learn to love myself no matter what. Does this mean I am going to start eating whatever I want, stop exercising, not get enough sleep, and let myself go and just say, "this is me, and I love it!?"  No, that's not it at all. Being healthy is the goal; healthy in mind and body. Eating crap-food all day won't give me a long and healthy life! 
   Taryn, the woman who started this body image revolution said (and it's right on the home page of her website), "my body is not an ornament, it is a vehicle to my dreams". How beautiful, how profound. 
   I want to see myself as the beautiful woman God made me to be, not the me who has been insulted, rejected, weight-obsessed, food possessed, and so hard on myself that I was not enjoying life.  
   It's hard to find out where this starts and stops though, but I will figure it out. What I mean is, I will still brush my hair, and my teeth. I will clean my face and use moisturizer. I will eat well and work out. Self-love does not mean not giving a care about anything body image related (at least that's how I feel about it!). I will dress nicely because I like to "look good" when I go somewhere. "Looking good" can mean different things to different people, but that's just the point, I want to dress to look good for me and who I want to express. 
   For instance, I wear a super large, red and cream coloured knitted "coat" (really, it's just a huuuuge sweater), and I think it's great. My husband said, "that is the ugliest thing I have ever seen!", but I wear it anyway because it feels like me!
   Anyway, I am rambling a bit, and I will probably be sharing more about this here and there in the future, but for now I shall let it rest!   

Me and my coat (and my awesome face) at the Santa Clause Parade

   So, being more intentional, minimizing our "stuff", and learning to love myself! Next to each other they are 3 really big new year things!!! But here's the thing-I've got time! I've got today, haven't I?
   It seems daunting, but I refuse to be discouraged and give up. It's not some rules someone else has given me and I must live up to them. It's for the better, for my better and the better of my family. The goals don't start January 1st and end December 31st, and if I haven't accomplished all I wanted then I failed! If I've tried, I've succeeded! If I keep trying I'm a super-star!!! :)  
   Whatever your goals, dreams or hopes for this new year, set the wheels in motion! Take one day at a time, and do your best. If you fail, no worries. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again! 
   When I was learning to ride a horse I was taught that if a horse bucks you off,  no matter what (well, unless something is broken!) get right back on! Why? Because if you don't you might never get back on! Your fear will set in, and you'll talk yourself out of it. The other reason to get back on is to say to the horse, "you can act like an idiot, but I will keep on riding!". 
  Both reasons to get back on taught me something about fear and controlling what makes you fearful. Fear is just an excuse to not try, but I say try! Try, fall off, get back up and try again! Tell yourself, "I am not afraid of my goals!", and tell your daunting, bucking goals, "you may be big, but I will get back on and keep trying!".

   Happy New Year!