So, the thing about life hacks is that sometimes you may be doing one, and have no idea! Those are maybe the best kind!
   That's what happened with me and giving my kids medicine. We had people over, and I needed to give my sick sickies a dose of medicine, and so I did what I always do, and my friend went, "whoa....that's brilliant!". Really? O.k!
   So, here it is, the easiest thing in the world (and I know it may not work for every child)-but the purpose of doing this was duelled. One, it was meant to water down the wretched taste of the medicine, and two, it makes it so the medicine isn't clinging to the measuring cup so that your child gets their full dose.
   So, pour the package recommended amount of medicine into a medicine measuring cup, add a smidge of apple juice (or any fruit juice), take a knife, stir it up, and hand it to the infirmed! 
   Like I said, not all kids will go, "ohhh, juice with it? Well then I will gladly drink that nasty medicine!", but most will be intrigued enough to try! And if you don't give your kids juice that often, it  makes it more alluring. 
   Can I just point out that I am not that brilliant though, Mary Poppins thought up the idea of adding juice to medicine....sort of. Please tell me you know what I'm talking about...?..."just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down"...please feel free to sing that all day now. :)

   Us parents will jump through hoops to get our kids to takes their meds because we know it will help them feel better. But kids often don't want to either because they hate the taste or syrup-y feel of it, or because they  feel so darned sick they don't want to cooperate! Fair enough! 
   Some other tricks to try if you need some more:
- Strait up bribing!: Hahaha....no, but seriously....I'm not necessarily talking a candy bribe, it could be a sticker, a stamp, a cool rock, just something you know your kid would actually love to have! 

- Hand over the reigns: As kids get older, they want to feel like they are active participants (if not the one in charge!) of their wee lives. Around 3 or 4, when a child can hold the measuring cup, put the medicine in it, hand the cup over to them, and let them take it. Again, I know it's simple, but for some (strong willed) type children, this could be just the pinch of power they need to take the meds.  

- Syringe it: If your kids are too young to hold the cup of medicine, and they seem reluctant, putting the meds in a syringe can help you be able to squirt the medicine inside their cheek (which can alleviate the weird taste by way of skipping some taste buds!), or you can just squirt it right down their throats. Then give them a chaser of juice!   

   Anywhoooo...., that's all! I thought I would write about this because currently everyone in our house is fighting something, and the medicine is a flowin'!  :)  
   Can I also say that we haven't always had rosy gardens over here when it came time to do medicine. Our lovely Caleb wouldn't take anything-ANYTHING!-for most of his life (we once had a very exciting experience at a hospital where 4 adults had to hold Caleb down while a doctor tried to give him some meds. Good times...)! Not until the last few years has he started to willingly take some meds. And the girls went through a time when they would start to cry as soon as they saw me take the medicine out! I've been covered in my fair share of sticky children's medicine, so I know it's not always fun! I know! 
   Anyway, if you have any helpful tips or tricks for helping with sick kids, please do share! I would love to hear them!   

   Those who are even a little familiar with autism know that routine, routine, and more routine keep life as stress-free as possible. It helps a person with autism feel some order in their world that can feel chaotic.
   But beyond routine, what can help a child, with autism or not, feel secure and safe?
   I believe the answer lies in traditions.
   A tradition is something you do over and over, either daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, etc. you get it. It is habit, ritual, it sounds like autism, really! But why is it different? Why is tradition important for a child with autism, and for a family in general? 

   Growing up, our family had many, many traditions that I carry today with my own family.
   Sunday morning pancakes (o.k, we do Saturday, I'm not quite as amazing as my Dad!), singing prayers at the dinner table, Easter morning getting new socks, underwear and a skipping rope or bubbles at your place at the table....and chocolate too, of course! Another important family tradition was going to the Rockton World's Fair on Thanksgiving weekend! This is a tradition I could never abandon! 
   Caleb is now 10 years old, and has been going to the fair his whole life! He looks forward to the fair for WEEKS in advance! As soon as the calendar moves to October, he is non-stop fair talking. He loves the barn with the birds and rabbits in it, and literally shrieks and squeals when the ducks start a "conversation" (if one starts quacking, they all start quacking!), or when a rooster crows, and he'll say (super loud), "Hey rooster! It is not the sun coming up!". 
   He loves the arts and crafts buildings, especially the walnut shells-turned-characatures. These things are kinda weird, but they've been at the fair for as long as I can remember! And he loves all the pumpkins! The big, the small, ALL of them! 
   I think what Caleb loves the most is the demolition derby in the evening. This year he was amazing; cheering, clapping & laughing, but still staying calm. This is where the demo-derby differs from previous years.  

   In years past, Caleb will be cheering, then yelling/cheering, then yelling at the drivers saying (with very big hand gestures), "You are not to be crashing, you are very danger!!!", or "where is the Chevy Cavalier?!?" (he always wants one in the derby) and he would slowly get more and more upset until he was crying, and would shut down, then we would pack up and leave.
   Caleb has had serious meltdowns at the fair, it seems obvious that he would be overwhelmed, but we kept going back every year, hoping it would be better. This past weekend at the fair, we were in one of the buildings that has enormous lollipops in it, and I said to my husband, "remember that time when Caleb ran away, and we chased after him, and we found him grabbing one of those lollipops and ripping off the plastic wrap....so then we had to buy the $13 sugar and food colouring on a stick?" 
   Caleb was probably 3 or so then, and we mostly just kept him strapped into a stroller to avoid having him run away. A few years ago, when he was too big for a stroller, he disappeared. This occasion was particularly annoying because there was my husband and I, and 2 other adults with us, and we all thought someone else was keeping their eye on him. We got the police that are always at a fair to help us track him down. He had only gone maybe 50 feet from us, but he had sat himself at a picnic table with a group of complete strangers, so he was blending in. The people at the table thought he was pulling a prank because he just walked over, sat down, didn't say anything, and ignored them when they talked to him. Classic autism symptoms can be sort of funny, I guess!    

   So, with all the grief from years past, why did we keep going? Because creating family traditions helps kids to connect generations, and to feel a sense of identity. It helps to strengthen family bonds, it offers security and comfort, creates a solid sense of time, and it teaches values.     
   My kids know that I went to the fair throughout my entire childhood, and I hope when they are older with their kids at the fair, they will say, "Oma {me!| went to this fair her whole life" (and they'll hopefully point out where I grew up, likeI show the kids every year). This connection to the fair and myself will give my kids a sense of heritage, and of identity. We feel the need to connect ourselves to the world; it's so large and we want to feel grounded, and tradition does that for us. 
   Family bonds are formed and strengthened through tradition and those bonds create a sense of comfort and security. When a child knows that something is coming, something that they have experienced on a regular basis, it helps them to feel something constant. Our busy lives of this century don't foster sameness. It fosters fast-paced, ever changing feelings, trends and ideas. This idea of traditions as comfort and security can be easily seen when life has sudden changes in it; a move, a death, etc. Being able to continue something that happens regularly (even something as simple as reading at bedtime), can offer calm to the storm.
   Sensing time is crucial for kids. Knowing that going to the fair means the fall reminds my Abigail that her birthday is coming. Christmas time reminds Keziah her birthday is coming, and Canada Day celebrations send Caleb into birthday happiness, knowing his party is in the summer. The kids smelling pancakes in the morning remind them that it's Saturday, and there's no school! Time can feel abstract to a child, and traditions nail the idea down for them.
   Lastly, traditions teach values. The value of education by reading at bedtime, for example. Or of the value of relationship with God  by praying at meals and bedtime. And most importantly, they teach the significance of family values like spending time together and getting to know each other through activities like regular family dinners, weekly walks or bike rides, or after-church lunch at Swiss Chalet! 
   All of these things make tradition so important, and if they are important for a neuro-typical child, they are equally as important for a child with autism. 

   If we had thrown in the towel regarding the fair because Caleb had so many difficult years there, we would have robbed him of the joy he now feels knowing it is coming. Somewhere in the grief of his meltdowns, running away, and making us buy expensive lollipops, Caleb was building an idea, and catching a glimpse of what could be fun at the fair, what could be memorable. I know he felt some safety in the tradition, even if it was mixed with anxiety for some of his years. 
   I feel badly for families who shut themselves out from the world because of their child's behaviours associated with autism. Am I saying, "just get over it!". Gosh no, I can't say that. But what I am saying is to create traditions, regardless of the behaviour. If you have a family where your child with autism came later in line than the first born, and you had traditions in place before they came along, continue in those traditions! For the sake of your other children, but also for the sake of that child with autism. I really believe tradition, despite bad behaviours, can help a child with autism feel like they are a part of a functioning family. I think that children with autism anywhere on the spectrum have a sense of the chaos they cause. And I, trying to think empathatically, know that I would rather feel like life is still happening around my meltdowns, instead of feeling like life had to stop.    

   Creating family traditions doesn't need to be complex, and you don't need a million of them either. 
   Think daily traditions like kissing your kids first thing in the morning, or weekly traditions like a Saturday morning walk, pancakes, a trip to the library, or for kids going to school, a Monday lunch note! 
   You can have birthday traditions, like telling your child about the day they were born, or serving cupcakes for breakfast!
    Yearly or holiday traditions could be going to a fair, going to an apple orchard in the fall, reading "The Night Before Christmas" on Christmas Eve, or having a first day of summer party. 
   Think back on your life, and see the traditions that you had as a child, and what you have carried into life now. Remember how important they are, and if you don't have any, work them into your life! 
   I know this post was more about traditions than autism, but watching Caleb this year at the fair was so rewarding. We saw, for the first time, the fruit of the tradition of going to the Rockton Fair. We enjoyed ourselves as a family. We laughed, ate treats, and rode the ferris wheel at 10 o'clock at night when all the fair lights look so beautiful. Last year Caleb had a meltdown because he wanted to ride in a very specific ferris wheel car (it's not a car, but I can't think what the name would be?!). This year, he didn't even mention it! He just happily jumped into the one he was sent to. He was so happy at the derby, and enjoyed the time with all the cousins and aunts and uncles we meet up with there. 
   I am thankful I loved the tradition of going to the fair too much to give up on it because of the things Caleb would do when we got there. I know I love going to the fair, but I can see how much more Caleb and my kids love going to it. It is a tradition I hope continues long after I'm gone, and one Caleb continues to enjoy his whole life! 

   People, today is my 31st birthday!

   I'm not sure why I'm so excited about getting old exactly....except that this birthday marks a year of change for me. A year ago today I was a different person, and not at all a person I was happy to be. I needed to change, but I felt stuck. 

   It wasn't until October last year that my life had a serious stick stuck into it's spokes, and I went flying headfirst into the rubbish heap I had made of my life. What caused the fall isn't important, but falling was necessary, and it started a chain of choices and events that changed me. 

   So, today I want to share the things that I have learned this year that helped to make me into the person I am today. A person who is new, & renewed. By God's grace I can look back at this year and see how all the struggles,  the poor choices, and all the hurt has brought me to the feet of Christ, and humbled me, and made me new. 
​

Friends are important:
 
    I know. Crazy, right?

   I have thought back on my life and have known some situations where I had friends because I should have them as friends. But they would be so negative, or "toxic". They would have such different values than me, or even just different ideas on life and fun! 

   We will have people in our lives who tire us out, but we need those people in our lives to help us develop virtues (...like patience, or love, or kindness), but also for the others persons sake. Who knows what they are needing, and if God is working in you to help that person through something.

   We may also be that person to someone else! We need people too, people who seem to push us and challenge us. A person who doesn't care if they are "friends" with you, but still speaks life into you. 

   When I say a "true friend", I mean someone you choose to share with, and be open with.  Someone who doesn't drain you because they give back as much as they take. You can be open and honest, and so can they. You both challenge each other, and want to see the best from one another. It is mutual. Sometimes it can be a little lope-sided, but the roots are mutual. 

   In the last year in my life I have gained and lost some friends. Some of these losses and gains have really surprised me, but through it all, I am learning about friendship, and what it should be. I have a few really close friends, a few dear people who know ALL of my darkest secrets, and love me anyway. What a true and honest blessing.
 
   I also have a group of people who I am so glad to call friends who, perhaps don't know all my garbage, but know enough of this crazy lady and still choose to be my friend! People who share, and love, and encourage and visit (usually inviting themselves because my introverted self forgets to invite them over!), and make me laugh, and who laugh at me! 

   I am learning that friends are necessary, and that I can't do life alone, no matter how much (read-how Dutch) I think I can. 

   Be a real person, be a true person, let others know you and see you for who you are. Be a friend, and make some friends! It's important!    


Drugs are good:
   
   Okay, well, not the illegal kind. 

   Last year in the late fall, I felt like my brain fell apart. I felt so off....I don't know how else to put it. 

   I would wake up in the morning with dread for the day. I would feel anxious throughout the day, and would constantly be checking my pulse because I could feel my heart pounding. I was fine one minute, than having a serious breakdown the next minute. I have a bit of a temper, but it suddenly was a hair-trigger temper. 

  There is a history of mental illness in my family, and I knew I wasn't immune....as much as I wanted to imagine I was. 

   I told my husband I needed to see a psychiatrist. 

   The psychiatrist told me what I had thought, I was a little messed up. He diagnosed me with a Borderline Personality Disorder, and Bi-Polar II. 

   I am not the type of person who immediately takes a Tylenol when I have a headache, or cough medicine when I've got a cold. I like to fight it out, to figure out a healthier way. But with this, there was no healthier way. 

   The psychiatrist put me on a mood stabilizer called Lamotrigine (which was originally intended {and still used| as an anti-colvulsant drug). Lamotrigine is the first mood stabilizer to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration is 30 years, which is when Lithium was approved. 

   Do I think everyone should be medicated? Nope. But, do I think there is a stigma around mental illness? Big time.

   There is shame and embarrassment associated with being "crazy", but there shouldn't be. I wasn't choosing to act like a crazed woman, but I sure was acting that way! I would feel such embarrassment and regret after having flown off the handle, so for me, the so-called embarrassment of taking meds is much less severe. 

   Taking meds has levelled me out. Though, once a month I still feel un-hinged, but that should just show you the power of those pre-menstrual hormones! Geepers!!! 

   If you feel like something is not right with you, like you know you think and feel so differently from other people, talk to your doctor, see if there is something that can be done. I thought everyone lived in a state of anxiety and despair, but they didn't. It was me, I needed the help. 

   Life now is so different. I thank God for the people who developed  the medication I am on! What a life I had been missing out on by being so afraid of the "mental illness" bug. I can see now that a good part of my adult life has been spent working around and trying to live with this illness. 

   I feel relief now. I feel "still" instead of on edge and anxious. Being honest about my mental state was the best thing I ever did for myself and my family.  
 

Don't carry other peoples monkeys!:

   A good friend told me this in the spring, and it turned me around. 

   I was sharing with her about the guilt I felt from a situation, and she listened with open ears and heard that I felt guilty for what I  did, but also guilty for what it caused in the other persons life. She told me, "don't carry other peoples' monkeys!". 

   Basically, a monkey is your "stuff". Your troubles that you carry around as you work through them. I was carrying mine around, and someone else's. It is appropriate to feel regret and remorse about how something you did effected someone else, but to carry around the guilt from their part in it? That is theirs alone, so don't do it.

   I was literally burdened because of the real or imagined problems I had caused, and my dear friend spoke life into the situation, and I got rid of that extra monkey! I just said to myself, "you've got your own monkey, and that person has their own monkey. They can carry their own, it's not mine". And moved on. It changed the way I was thinking and feeling, and has helped me in many situations since.   


It is NEVER too late to get into shape:

   I am turning 31 today, and am literally in the best shape of my life. I'm talking better shape than when I was young, and dancing, and horseback riding many times a week, and, well, being young! 

   In March I decided that enough was enough. I was carrying grief and guilt about so many things that had happened in the last year, and it was weighing me down-literally. I was at my heaviest (not counting the time I weighed 200lbs before I had Keziah!), and was tired of feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate that feeling.

   What did I do? What was my secret? No secret, it's just exactly what you would expect: eating right, and working hard.

   Eating right (to me) means real food: meat, fruits and veggies, good fats (coconut, avocado, olive oil) & nuts and seeds-basically, the Paleo (or Primal) diet. I have a treat day to keep me from thinking all day about my favourite food groups (marshmallows and chocolate!), and I don't beat myself up over eating any amount of real food! I can (and have been) eating fruits and veggies and meat and nuts and seeds until I was full, and have lost weight, and gained muscle. Eat real food, your body will be happy with you! 

   As for working hard, I hired a personal trainer named YouTube. Did you really think I hired a personal trainer? I'm too cheap. For the first few months I basically only did Jillian Michaels workouts. Is she annoying? Yes. But, does she have some amazing workouts? Yes. Are they freakin' hard? Yes!!! 

   After that I started to look around YouTube more, and found so many workouts that I really enjoyed (in that completely exhausting kind of way!). I like to do videos because it keeps me moving, keeps me from stopping to rest, and really pushes me. 

   I will have ups and downs, but I want to stay like this; happy in my own skin, feeling so healthy and in control, and feeling a little bad-ass for how hard I've worked and for knowing what I'm capable of! 

   Some of my favourite workouts with my 'personal trainer' are this Kick Boxing video from my pal Jillian, this series from Jillian (I started at level 1 for this series and worked my way up!), and a favourite channel is from POPSUGAR Fitness. Now go break a sweat! :) 


Don't follow your heart!: 

   If I hear one more song, or see one more Hollywood film say "follow your heart...." I'm going to loose it! I know it's something we hear all the time, and from a lot of different places, but I will plead with you-do not follow your heart! 

   A very wise person, whom I love very much, gave me a quote last year, and I will try to sum it up further for this. It hit me hard, and really made me look at my heart, and see that I do no want to follow it.

   The quote is from Oliver Heywood (1825-1892), and is from his book "Heart Treasure".

   "Store up experiences of deceitful operations of the heart. The heart is a very sad book, but you must read and re-read it. If you do not, you will live and die in serious ignorance. Study then the diverse windings, the cunning strategies, and secrecies of your depraved heart. Consider and remember well all its ways of craftiness and guilt which have cost you so much. Now, in view of it's sad history, will you trust your deceitful heart again?

   Who, but a fool, will hand over everything he owns to a known thief? What wise man will be exploited by a famous con artist? He who trusts in his own heart is a fool. 
   And will you not be the greatest fool that breathes, if after so many betrayals and tricks, you still confide in this complete traitor?  

   Ah reader, I appeal to your own experience. How many a grievous experience you have had of the hearts deceitfulness! It is prone to deceive, and to be deceived. It is the latter, the proneness to be deceived, that is the more dangerous quality! 

   The reason that a person indulges self-confidence is due to ignorance. He is ignorant of the trickster within. He does not know the working of his own heart, or having gained some knowledge, he forgets this sobering experience. 

   A person who declared bankruptcy in desperation does not want to study the list of his debts, fearing the reality of his condition. He wants to run away from the truth of his predicament. In the same way, a poor deceived sinner does not want to look into his heart. He has a vague and uneasy sense that all is not right there. He wants to cover and conceal, even from himself, this terrible sight which destroys his sense of peace. 

   The real child of God, however, cannot but see what others overlook or strive to hide. The one living by grace will willingly see these things, and will sorrow over them. May God enable us to know and fear our own hearts, that we shall then trust them less, and Him more".

   I read this quote a few times a week to remind me of who I could be if I blindly followed my heart, and refused to see the folly within it. 
   This idea has honestly changed my life this past year.


Speak truth with love: 

   Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome (think un-nourishing, energy depleting) talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful (useful, profitable) for building others up according to their needs (struggles, or hurts ), that it may benefit those who listen (not what will benefit us)" (emphasis and bracket thoughts my own).

   This verse can throw away all that you think is necessary to say, and can also push you to say things you  may be unwilling to say.

   To run things you're thinking threw this filter of "is it unwholesome? Will it nourish? Is it going to build them up? Will it benefit the person I need to say it to?" can change the way you see your opinion. Loving someone doesn't mean saying everything you want to, and if the person loves you back they will just take everything you dish out. No, love and friendship is about being forgiving if someone says something hurtful, but a hurt that is lovingly, and truthfully given is a faithful hurt (Proverbs 27:6 "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses). 

   Know your motivation! Speak truth, by all means speak truth-but do it with purpose-to build others up according to their need!

​   And that is my year in summary. I am blessed, I am new. I am so thankful for the people in my life who love me, and push me and challenge me. I am humbled by what God can do with the broken pieces of a life, and that He loves me too much to see me continue on a road of destruction.

   I couldn't have guessed all that would transpire in one year. But there are seasons, and I am so happy to be looking at the season past. I am standing at the top of a long, steep hill. But I am standing, and I am stronger, and I am wiser. 

   Gosh, I am still human and will stumble and fall a lot, but I can see that there is a solid foundation beneath my feet now.

   Happy birthday to me!  :)  ​

   So....all my kids are in school....
   I guess I get to sit around eating candy and watching soap operas all day, which is what stay-at-home moms do anyway, now I get to do it without feeling bad. That, of course, is me being cheeky. I don't watch any soap operas, and I only eat candy all day on my treat day. :)  
    Alright, in all seriousness though, for the last 10 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom with kids at home with me. My days revolved around keeping house, making meals, and taking care of my kids. The only other time I didn't have a child at home was when Caleb was young and we were living in Bancroft at a camp, so I would work in the office while he was gone. But even that was 7 years ago for goodness sake!

   What I'm trying to say is, where is the manual for motherhood 2.0?
   I've been working the motherhood 1.0 system now for years, and never got the update to 2.0
   I feel like this will be similar to when we switched our home PC to a Mac. That was hard. I still barely even know how to get the most from this Mac, and we've had it for a year! 
   So, motherhood 2.0 will be interesting. My husband and I have been talking for months about what I'm going to do. Not like what job am I going to do, but what, in general, am I going to do? I could get a job that doesn't get in the way of getting kids off to school, and meeting them off the bus at the end of their day. But we are living and surviving on my husbands salary, so do I need to work? No. Could I? Yes. 
   Here's the thing about me. I am an introverted extrovert. I can go out in public and have a good time, I can make conversation and appear normal (haha...fools). But when I think about working in a 'real' job, I get a knot in my stomach, and I start sweating more profusely than I normally do! 
   Like I said, I worked in the office of a camp, but that felt different because I lived there, and I knew everyone, and I felt comfortable with camp. Besides that I have been teaching horseback riding, and did that for years and years. But that was with my kids around, and in an environment I was comfortable with. I taught dance for a few years, but it started by accident (some friends asking me if I would teach them), and I thought it was fun, and never considered it a job. Especially because they didn't always pay, which I literally didn't care about!
   As a teen I worked at Sears Portrait Studio and Sears Optical in Brantford....I'm not doing that again! I also worked at Tim Horton's for about 6 weeks. I honestly took that job to make enough extra money to buy a new saddle. Once I had the saddle, I left the job.
   Anyway, all this rambling to say-what am I supposed to do!?! 
   I would like to financially contribute to the income of my family to help with things like paying down our mortgage faster, saving for a new vehicle, going on a holiday, etc., etc., etc. 
   But I also know that if I take my kids out of my day, there is still a lot of things I could do at my house. My job would still be a stay-at-home Mom, but I would only be caring for my kids when they were home from school. That just seems strange somehow. 
   I thought about teaching something in the school during the day. Likely art, or perhaps voice lessons. I just need to figure out the logistics of such a thing. I could also randomly work a shift here or there in Tweed at the Tim Horton's, or the grocery store. The health/bulk food store was alluring, but I dunno....
   Besides wondering if I should get a job is the question of could. Do I have real world skills to get a job? I'm not too sure I do! 

   The role of motherhood, whether it be the original version, this updated version, or the 3.0 (kids moving out/going to college), or 4.0 (kids getting married and starting their own families), motherhood has to be more than changing diapers, cooking dinner, cleaning and doing laundry or helping a preschooler glue coloured macaroni on a Father's Day gift.
   I think the most important job for a mom is to nurture her children. And I can do that job whether they are here all day or not.
   Nurturing involves being a model of love and joy, but also of humility when mistakes are made. It means pouring into children what you hope to see in them as adults; compassion and kindness, forgiveness and grace. Being generous and discerning, and thinking of others first.
   A nurturing Mom takes time (even just a smidge) to go into her child's world, to see things with the imagination of a (fill in the blank) year old. 
   Playing, reading, singing ridiculous children's songs while driving around, cuddling, kissing, and being silly are all part of this important job-even more important than getting the floors washed that day. Also taking pictures of events that might normally make us irritated-like a child that has coloured on the wall. You're mad, but it's also cute, so you're going to take a picture before cleaning it up and administering discipline.
    A mom provides empathetic understanding from a position of strength and support. That's true whether she's dealing with a toddler or a teen...except for the part about colouring on the wall. 
   My update in motherhood is happening, whether or not I want it to. I didn't want this Mac originally, but the hubby insisted we should get it. He said something like, "our current computer is so out of date that if we need to update at all, we are going to need to learn a whole new system. So, we can either learn everything new with the new Windows system, or learn everything new with a Mac". He felt a Mac was better for us and our needs, so, in other words, he thought it was better. 
   I'm not trying to start a PC vs Mac debate, what I want to so is say that if an update is essential, why not update to (what you think is) the best? 
   Motherhood 2.0 will be difficult to navigate at first, but I can choose to do whatever will get me by, or I can choose the best. If that means I get a job while my kids are at school or not isn't the point. The point is that my true job as a Mom is to be that person in my kids life who they can count on for love and support.
   I can endeavour to know my kids for who they are as individuals, not just as "those little people I'm looking after". I need to bring out the best in each of my children as they, in turn, bring out the best in me. I can be an example of living a life of faith, and of using the unique gifts God gives each person. 
   I'm not saying that each day needs to be full of these things, otherwise us Moms would be frazzled and burnt out. We would be pushing our kids out the door for school, desperate for the chance to be rid of them for a few hours! Doing the best you can is better than doing it all. Whatever it is that is your best, do it. I don't need to do what I see is your best, or the best of that Mom you see at play group who seems to have it all together!!! She's a faker, by the way. :)  O.k., maybe she's not, I shouldn't judge. 
   Being a nurturer is both meant for our children, and for ourselves.
   So, with that being said, for right now, I'm not getting a job outside of my house. For now, I'm taking the time to get adjusted to motherhood 2.0. The first step in this new system is to take a step back, breath, and feel like I've accomplished something. I'm sending my 3 kids, who are brats a lot of the time, I will admit, but they are also genuinely sweet and loving kids. They are really silly and happy, they use their manners (....most of the time...), and adjust well to new situations. They are bright and willing to learn, and all have a spark that I envy. 
   I think I've done a pretty decent job with motherhood 1.0, and I hope that as I figure out this new version of motherhood I can continue to feed into my children what they need.  

   On Thursday August 3oth, 2012 I gave birth to my forth child, a little boy named Abraham.

   I have never written a post on a Saturday, but I wanted to today to honour this little boy that no-one ever got to see or meet, except for me. 

   This story may float between clinical, personal, and over-share. I feel like I have come a long way since the summer I had him, and that the harshness of the memory has subsided. I miss him, I love him, I still feel pain to think of not being able to hold and kiss him. But I am at peace.

   Back in March I told the story of my fifth child, Ezra Faith, but didn't share the details of that miscarriage. I am going to share the details of this first miscarriage though because, as I said already, I feel enough time has passed and I am able to.   
​

   
​    The pregnancy was a surprise, a very big surprise, and I honestly had mixed feelings about it. At the time our youngest was 2, which isn't old as far as children go, but we had sort of moved on from babies, and thought we had the family we were going to raise. I don't particularly enjoy being pregnant, so I wasn't really looking forward to that, and because my mind was thinking we were done with babies, my heart felt done with babies. But, as time went on, my heart changed, and I was planning and imagining life with a new little person in the house. 

   On August 9th I had gone to my 12 week mid-wife appointment, only to have them not be able to hear the babies heart beat. I felt such a knot in my stomach, and couldn't put words to my feelings. They told me that everything could actually be fine, and perhaps the baby was sitting farther back which can make it difficult to hear the heartbeat. We booked an ultrasound for the next day, and I told my husband not to take work off because everything should be o.k.

   I didn't sleep much that night though, and I went through the next morning in auto-pilot. Trying not to worry, but also trying not to be too confident. 

   The ultrasound technician was one I had seen just 2 weeks earlier at the ultrasound to date the age of the baby. So, I could see the worried look in her face when she walked into the office to do the exam.

   She was working away at the exam, and I asked her, "is there anyone in there?", and she said, "yes". Though her answer was not terribly re-assuring.
   A minute or two later I asked, "is there a heart beat?...". She turned to me and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I need to tell you that your baby has no heart beat".
   I felt numb, but I had the sense to ask for a photo from the ultra sound. I know it seems morbid, but 2 weeks earlier at the dating ultrasound, the new printer hadn't come in yet, so I didn't get to take a photo home that day. I needed a photo. 

   I don't remember leaving the room, or walking down the hall. All I remember is getting into the stairwell, and suddenly starting to cry so deeply, and with so much pain, I couldn't stop. 

   I ran down the stairs, through the parking lot, and into my van. I sat and stared at the photo of this baby, this tiny life that I was still carrying, but was not alive. I felt betrayed by my body, I felt angry at my body. I felt sick that I had a human being in me who was not alive. I wanted to scream, and punch something.

    I was told that because I felt fine physically, my mid-wife said I could carry the miscarriage out at home without having to go to the hospital. But only to a point. I begged with her to not send me to the hospital. I was taking my temperature 2-3 times a day to make sure I wasn't getting an infection, and to be sure that my health was fine, but with nothing happening on it's own, I did seem likely I would have to go to the hospital to be induced, but I was determined not to. I researched online about how to induce labour for (what is called a) missed-miscarriage. Basically, a missed-miscarriage is when the body has not caught onto the fact that the baby had passed away. 

   So, I needed to convince my uterus to start contracting. I decided on taking evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, high doses of vitamin c, and parsley tea as my exhaustive method for inducing labour naturally. Two days after I started to use these things, I started to bleed. It was 14 days after I had found out the baby had passed away.

   It was another full week of bleeding and spotting on and off before I started having pain in my abdomen, something similar to period cramps. 

   I had these cramps on and off all day on the 30th, but then around 6:15 it suddenly felt sharp and different. My husband was still at work, and I knew if something happened I would have no help.

   I had (luckily) just finished making the kids dinner, and called to them "get your food!" as I ran up the stairs to the bathroom. 

   I had so much time to "feel prepared" and to read the stories of other woman and their miscarriages online. One woman had talk about a "miscarriage basket" to have ready. I thought the idea was a good one, so I had my own ready for me in the bathroom. It had 2 large red towels, feminine wipes, a bottle of water, a pretty bowl, and an extra thermometer. Each item had a specific purpose, and I knew I would be grateful to have them, I just didn't realize how grateful.

   The red towels were to hide the blood. For myself, and for anyone else (especially the kids) who might have seen me/been helping me through this it can seem less traumatic to not see blood everywhere. The wipes and water bottle seem obvious, but they were really important to have handy. The pretty bowl was for the baby. This part was very much up in the air, as generally, the longer it takes your body to finish the mis-carriage, the more deteriorated the baby has become, so, in many cases when the miscarriage takes a long time to complete, the baby may not be found among everything else your body passes. And the thermometer was to make sure that I was still staying at a good temperature, and that I was not getting an infection. 

   I had thought to grab the phone on my way up the stairs to call my mid-wife, as she said she would come if I needed her, but I wanted to be alone. I needed to be alone.     

   
​    The pain was intense on and off, and I started passing fairly large blood clots as well as parts of the placenta. I started to panic a little because I didn't want to not recognize the baby from all the rest. I know that sounds strange and disturbing, but at the moment, it's all I was thinking. 

   I prayed that God would help me find the baby if that was best for me, and suddenly I felt enormous pressure through my pelvic bones, the pressure I recognized from having 3 healthy, full-term babies as "that feeling" when you need to push. I didn't need to push, but I did quickly reach my hand under myself, and catch a beautiful, perfect, tiny human into my hand.  It was around 7pm. 

   I gently set the baby into the lovely bowl I had, and tried to relax, realizing that my body wasn't finished. For an additional 3 hours my body worked through passing the placenta, which was in many pieces as it has begun to deteriorate. 

   My husband came home around 8:30, but because I had been on the toilet for the last few hours, the septic was blocked. If I wanted to flush the toilet anymore, or get into the shower to run the water on me to relax, he needed to fix the septic problem. I told him I needed the septic fixed, but that I also needed him to check in on me every now and then. 
   He got the problem fixed, and I remained in the bathroom, feeling numb from the pain, both physical and emotional, and also not knowing what to do next. 

  When I felt that my body was finished with the process, I decided I needed to really look at my baby. Maybe even see if I could tell the sex. 

   As I lifted the tiny body from the bowl, I could clearly see it was a he. He was so tiny, and just fit right into my hand. I looked at him, but I couldn't cry. I felt lost. But somehow, at the same time I felt peace knowing I had seen him. My wonderful sister had sent a necklace for me in the mail as soon as she found out I had miscarried. It arrived long before I had Abraham, but when I had him, I held that necklace up to his feet, and the size was just right. It was a perfect memory for me to carry around. 

   I put my little boy into the bowl I had bought for him. 

   On the Saturday we went out as a family and bought a red jade weeping flowering crabapple tree. We decided where we wanted to plant it; a spot we could see from the front porch, and a place that it looked like it belonged with us, with our family. 
 
​   We placed our little son into the earth, and the tree on top, as if he were the tree. It was a beautiful, sad, and peaceful ceremony with just Adam and I and the kids.
 
   We decided on the name Abraham because of of the promise God gives of hope, and a future. It just represents trusting in God and his will and plan for the lives of his children. And Abraham's faith in God was what I wanted, it's what I needed out of this situation. I needed to feel that if God spoke and said anything, I would hear Him, and do what he asked of me. 
   
    I felt haunted by our little Abraham. I felt like I could see him running down the halls and laughing. I imagined him playing outside with our toy tractors and cars. I missed this little man who no-one met, except me. My husband couldn't bring himself to see the baby, he didn't want to remember him in a sad way, more in just a memory of what might have been kind of way. It broke my heart, but I also understood completely. 
   
    A week later we went to see the mid-wives as a check-up and to talk about things. When  began describing what Abraham looked like, my mid-wife seemed concerned. She said, "you're sure you saw genitals?". Awkward question, but she wanted to know. I insisted I had, so she took out a diagram of a baby developing in the womb. She asked me to point to the image that looked most like Abraham, and it was the one closer to 14 weeks, not 11 weeks, the age we thought he was. Ultrasound measurements are generally accurate, but not always, as my mid-wife informed me. Because I was able to see my child and look at him closely, as well as remember how big he was in my hand, she said my dating would be more accurate than the ultrasound.
   
   The truth is, I've undergone a lot of healing since then. First I went even faith down than I thought possible, but now I'm looking up. I still think of Abraham often, I still haven't held any "Abraham babies" at church (the babies who would be his age, had he been full term), but I also don't cry when I see them.
   
    I am feeling a trust in God, and letting the hurt fade. I take things away from my kids all the time, for their own good. In the Bible, in Job 1:21, Job says, "Naked I came out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return depart. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Do I like it? Not at all. Do I miss this little baby I got to carry for his entire life, and meet only to say goodbye? Of course I do. But my heart will choose to say, "blessed be the name of the Lord". 

  In sharing this story I hope to give direction to anyone gong through a similar situation. I hope to offer light at the end of what is a very long and dark tunnel. I wanted to say the name of my baby out loud, Abraham, and make him real, and alive. He died in the womb, but I don't need to keep him a secret. Him passing away was not my fault, and I won't act ashamed and quiet about the miscarriage because that's what we do as a society. He was a person who would have been a part of this family, but now he is only a part of our memories.  

   20 long days went by between getting the news I had miscarried and finally giving birth to the little boy I would never really know. I sat by his tree crying long into that Saturday night, mourning, mourning. I felt I would turn inside out with grief, like I would be choked by it. But time has passed, and a heart can heal, if it chooses to.    
   
​We will meet Abraham alive someday, when I get to meet my heavenly Father. I imagine Abraham and Ezra, our little family in heaven, ready to meet us. I look forward to that day so very much. 

xo

   I honestly cannot believe that school starts in a week! O.k, some schools already started this week, but it's just the French immersion losers. ;)  

   Anyway, I just wanted to put my 2 cents out into the blogosphere about getting ready for school, and how to make the first day (and the whole year) as stress-free as possible!   
​

   O.k., first things first-if you haven't done your back to school shopping, do it today!!! Seriously, the longer you wait, the more stressful the event will be because you will be competing with other last minute families! No fun! Some schools will give you a list of things kids will need (duo tangs, binders, or headphones as some examples), and some don't. If you didn't get a list, there are 3 basic things you'll need until you get some specifics. A backpack and lunch bag (obvi), but something you may not know your child needs is indoor shoes. Non-marking soles are a must, and be sure they are velcro (for younger children) so your child's poor teacher isn't having to stop to help your child get their shoes on! 
​
   There is this thing about kids having a new first day of school outfit. I like to get my kids a new outfit, but part of it is because they've grown so much over the summer that they need a few new things. But can I say that new to you does not need to be brand new? Don't let some bizarre, social pressure make you think you need to buy new clothes for the new school year. Most people don't know what you already owned, so it's all new to them! Hit up a few second hand stores (& pop some tags...) and you're bound to find some good, gently used clothes that will be serviceable and that your kids will love. Alright, moving on!   

     Another thing you can/should do this week to get ready is to get your homemade foods ready. Homemade granola bars, muffins (make 'em mini as kids rarely can eat a whole regular sized muffin), or single serve soup (make a batch of soup, and divide it into separate kid-sized portions to freeze) can all be made ahead and stored in the freezer. It'll save you money, and you'll feel better knowing what's in your kids food! 
   So, speaking of food for lunches, this next idea may sound anal, but it works for me! In the same way as I make a weekly menu for the whole family and our dinners, I also have a menu for the kids' lunches (though it's not a changing menu as our dinner one is). Some of my friends find this idea stressful, but I enjoy it. Like I've said about other ideas on this blog, these are my thoughts and ideas, and if they help you, hooray!! If not, that's o.k. too! Anyway, the idea behind a lunch menu was to help me feel like I was giving the kids a good variety of food, and that I was keeping it simple-by making a menu. 
   
    The menu is divided into the days of the week, then each day has five sections: main (sandwich, muffin, wrap, leftover pizza or homemade pizza bun, Caleb even got a g.f. doughnut in his menu last year!), protein (cheese, yogurt, rolled lunch meat, hardboiled egg, cold chicken drumstick, etc.), fruit & veg (you can figure this one out), 'snackie' (popcorn, crackers, pretzels, etc.), and a treat (granola bar, cookie, marshmallows, etc.). I need to update my menu from last year as I have a newbie starting school this year, and also the kids have changed their tastes, and I want the menu to reflect that.        
​

   So, having this menu helps me quickly pack lunches because I've taken the stand and stare into the fridge part out of it. Even though I have a menu, I do give it some flexibility based on if there are leftovers from dinner, or if we had a birthday party and there is leftover cake that would make a fun treat in a lunch. And even though there is a menu, I let the kids help me pack the lunches so they know what they're getting.   
   
    Do whatever you want to do for making a menu or not, but my biggest advice about lunches is to to make lunches the night before!
  Just do it!!! :)  
 
    The mornings of school can be a wee bit nutty, and adding a distracted parent trying to mindfully pack a healthy and tasty lunch is not a good part of that equation!
   
​    Another thing that I like to do at night after I've packed the lunches is to set the back pack (s) out. Either on the dining room chairs, or if you have an entryway with a spot for each child's coat and shoes, just put the backpack out there. It may seem a little pointless, but having it in view reminds you what may need to be added to it (a permission slip, a library book, whatever), and it also makes it visible for your child so that once you've handed them their lunch, they can put it into their bag (without calling, "where's my back pack???"). Then send 'em out the door!

   Now, if you're like me, you like to get your kids first day of school photo. Again, do it however you want (or don't do it at all!), but I saw and liked the idea of writing down what grade the child was going into, and what year it was on a page for the child to hold in the photo. I used a cute little chalk board I own, but you could literally just use a marker and write on regular paper to do this. It's just a quick way to remember exactly which year the photo is from (instead of hoping the time stamp on the photo is correct, or guessing based on the outfit or what house you were living in-which is what I did for years!). If the idea of squeezing a photo in the morning of that first day back seem stressful, do it a day or two before. Seriously! 
   
    Just put the kids into the clothes they will wear, hand them the piece of paper with the grade and year on it, and take the picture! They won't change so much in the few days leading to school that the photo won't be valid, so go ahead and pre-photo the first day of school! It'll also make a funny story for them to tell when they grow up. :)     
​

  Alright, so this next thought is a whole school year kind of thought, but breakfast....keep it simple!
   
   When I was growing up, we would get called down to breakfast, and whatever my Dad had made, we were eating! I'm from a very large family, so there was no, "what would you like for breakfast?", "what would you like for breakfast?" being heard. My Dad making breakfast for us saved a lot of time. I do the same now with my kids. I actually can't remember if I've ever asked my kids what they want for breakfast...I know, I'm so mean.
   
   I do a rotating breakfast: cereal, toast and yogurt, cereal, toast and yogurt, cereal, pancakes for Saturday, then toast and yogurt again for Sunday-then I start all over! If you child likes oatmeal or some other quick breakfast, add that into the mix. We'll also add low-maintainance (doesn't require serious prep work like, for example, a mango!) fruits into the breakfasts if the kids say they are still hungry. We eat eggs and bacon around here regularly as a dinner, so I never worry about it as a breakfast. The key is simple, quick options that get your kids fuelled for the day-withuot causing stress and making them miss the bus! 
​   
   Oh, I can hear some people now, "but how will my child learn to make decisions if I don't let them decide what they want for breakfast?". They'll figure it out, they should have other choices they need to make in a day that will be more important, so don't sweat it! I promise this will make life easier!

   Alright, my last bit of advice....wake the kids up early! O.k, not too early, but give yourself more time than you think you need to get them ready and out the door.

   I wake my kids up an hour before the bus is due to arrive. That's about 10 minutes for brushing hair and teeth, half an hour for getting dressed and eating breakfast, 10 minutes for getting on coats and shoes (this takes more and less time depending on which season it is), then 10 minutes of buffer time, incase something takes longer than it should have. 

   It honestly ruins my day when I have slept through my alarm clock and I have to rush and "Mom yell" (oh, you know that yell. You're not really yelling, you're just doing that "huuuurrrrry uuuupp!" through your teeth kind of yelling) at my kids to hurry the heck up! I want to be patient and kind to them on the way out the door, instead of momzilla! Seems reasonable enough to me! 

   O.k. I think that's all I have to say about that! I'm sure I have more things I would like to say, but this is probably sufficient! 
​
   I hope that if you have kids you're sending off to school that some of these tips will help you. There will likely be some speed bumps here and there, and that's o.k. Just be prepared as much as you can be, and be ready to be flexible too, as the need arises!  
    

   Does anyone besides me find themselves watching endless Ellen clips of "What's wrong with these photos?" photos, or those funny/sometimes inappropriate e-cards (find more here), or Pinterest fails? I hope I'm not the only one, and if I am, well, hot dog, I'm just special! :)  
   Anywhoooo, today I thought I would share some things that make me laugh and laugh (and laugh some more!). What else can one do besides laugh when they are planning a trip but are held up by passports? Nothing, that's what! Nothing else but laugh. 
   Raising a family calls for some serious laughter too (ironically, if you want to stay sane you need to laugh...?)
   Please take the time to look through and give yourself a good laugh, it is seriously good for you! Everyone needs a good laugh!

   If you like dancing even a tiny bit (or maybe just laughing at children...), than this sweet little dear will make you laugh so hard! Bless her heart she is just in way over her head! 

   I am a bit particular about grammar (and it being used correctly!), so this e-card was written for me!  :) 

   ....Basically....

   Hahahaha...oh man...

   I would like to own this shirt. You can if you want! Buy it here! 

   The best. 

   Some epic photo fails...

   I love the cake fails where what they are told (probably over the phone) to put on the cake, they just write out word for word onto the cake....brilliant...

  Happey Berthdaey Beky (insert the "c")! :)  (sprinkels, sprinkles, sprinkels) 

   Well, if you aren't laughing about these fantastic things, you're a grumpy old fart. Seriously, you are. 
   If you did laugh, and have time for a smidge more laughter, watch any of these clips from Ellen and "what's wrong with these photos?" photos. 
   O.k, one last picture....she's so sweet, and kids spelling errors are often so very funny, but this one...oh boy...you can find more fantastic kids spelling errors here.

   O.k, I hope you had a good laugh! Or at least a little laugh.....a smile? 
   Laugh a little, pass it on!  

   When you're young and thinking about growing up, motherhood, and being married, it seems like it could be easy....when I was young I wasn't even actually sure I wanted to be a Mom. For real. I pretty much hated baby-sitting (with a few exceptions), and being a Mom seemed so abstract that I wasn't sure I could imagine myself doing it.
   Then I got pregnant when I had just turned 20, got hitched, and life was craa-zy!  
   Fast forward 10 years, and man, what a wild ride this has been! 
   There are so, soooo many things most books don't tell you about parenting and being a wife, mother and a "modern woman" today that I am left feeling just a little uninformed, to say the very least! Seriously, how can lice and pin worms NOT be mentioned in every single parenting book out there!!! What the heck?!?   

   Almost every time I get together with other Moms, things like our parenting, our husbands (or significant others), and our bodies come up in conversation. I'm coming to realize that we all feel the same about what we're doing, and we all feel like we're not quite making the grade. Whether it's feeling like our kids aren't minding their manners in public, or we don't feel we're doing our best for our husbands, or that they understand how hard our stay-at-home days are. Then there's how we feel about our post-baby bodies....yikes, Moms are full of self-doubt and second guessing!  
   We get these ideas from somewhere in us, some voice that tells us we're not good enough. Not strict enough, not nice enough, not tidy enough, not good enough cooks, and not quite thin/curvy/sexy enough. Some Moms feel this less than others, but we all feel it, I know we do.
   The thing is, our life is a real life. We're not celebrities with nanny's and cooks, and personal trainers. We're roughing it every day; cleaning, cooking, changing bums, breaking up fights, or driving our kids everywhere, working a job, or being a single Mom. In the midst of that a lot of us are also trying to get our "pre-baby body" back. That's a lot to do! 
   I started doing yoga lately, I'm not into the spiritual side of it (I also don't like the super slow yoga...I get bored!), I just enjoy the deep stretching, how (even though it's crazy hard to do) it's relaxing, makes me remember to breath deeply (anger management skills people!!), and, as one (YouTube) instructor said, you need to come to a place where you have compassion for yourself. She's referring mostly to the bodies abilities regarding being flexible, etc., but I really took what she said for a lot of different aspects of my life.
   We stand in the line at the grocery store, with our noisy kids in tow, and see magazine covers showing us how fit, and happy some new celebrity mom is with her new baby in his designer shoes, and with her svelte post-baby body just a few weeks after giving birth. We can't stack up to that, but I think we subconsciously feel we should. Why is a stranger, who is living a life so completely distant from ours controlling us and making us feel inadequate?
   I've started to take a look around me and my own life lately. I've started to look at the Moms I know in my circle of friends, that I meet at get-togethers, that I know from church, or even in my own family. I see their great parenting skills, their ability to keep their house clean (or not), and be o.k. with how it is. I see them being gracious and loving to husbands I think aren't so super, or doing an amazing job as a single parent, and I see them trying to accept their bodies, no matter where it is in it's journey!
   My non-celebrity life is a normal, real one (I think). I am trying to be compassionate with myself. I struggle everyday with keeping up with how I want my house to look (fyi-I like it to be tidy, but I don't necessarily care about it being super-clean!), not how I think it should look. I give my kids lots of fruits and veggies, and try to teach them about healthy living, but I also give them chocolate, and chips, and even bribe them with jelly beans to not bug me after they've gone to bed at night! It's true! I try to love my husband the best I can, and be someone he can really count on, and truly consider a best friend, but I also get very angry and fight, and say things I regret. I am learning to be compassionate to my body, and love it (or at least stop thinking bad things about it!), and accept it where it's at, and how it is.
   I am who I am. I am who God made me. I can always be working hard to improve on something that I don't think is right, but not because a celebrity made me think it, or because I've imposed some sort of none-sense guilt on myself, but because I want to be bettering myself. That means different things to different people, but it's about accepting who you are, but also knowing that something that isn't changing is dying. Change for your own sake, change for who you hope to be. Change for the legacy you want to leave behind you. Are you a yeller? Decide to stop yelling! In bad shape, hop onto YouTube and find a workout that fits into your busy life! Hate your messy house? Decide to start small and get the house looking the way you imagine it could. Take small steps, ask for help, be honest with the people in your life who love you, and be a modern woman who is the real deal. No airbrushing, no lying about what life is like, no designer shoes for your baby...well...unless they're hand-me-downs! 
   Being a "modern woman" isn't likely to be what Chatelaine tells us it'll be. It will be something real, messy, crazy-hard work, but it will also be fun and rewarding. Just own your version of the modern woman!  

   The summers around here tend to fly by. O.k., well, some moments they drag by (like when the children are whining!), but somehow nine weeks fly by, and I feel some guilt (some Mommy guilt) that maybe we didn't do enough? I'm not sure why I feel this way.     
   Summer was fun when I was young because I liked the freedom to play outside all day, or read as many Nancy Drew mysteries in one day as I wanted. My family would go to a family camp, and I always loved that too. 
   So, I could just let my kids be, and let them make their own fun for the summer, but the truth is, I feel like they need something to do. To make the summer fun, maybe a pinch educational, definitely memorable, and something we can look back on as a family and say, "remember our awesome summers...". Ya know? 
   Anyway, all that to say, I need a plan! I always have good intentions, but suddenly summer is gone! I'm not talking about a  written in stone, no-one can change the schedule type of plan. Just an outline, a list of ideas, pulling out the calendar to marking a few days for special events/activities. Here are some things I liked from the world of Pinterest, and will use this summer. 

   This summer schedule from ReMarkable Home is something I really like! It's fairly flexible as far as different things to do, but gives at least an idea of where to start. 

   Digital Reflections has a list of 100 things you can do with your kids, and most are free! Yipee! The list includes ideas like visiting a fire department, building a fort, activities that involve using a camera, and taking pictures of things, then printing the photos off, and making a book about your photos (like "things we saw on our nature walk", or "the alphabet through our town"). There are a lot of ideas on here!

   We are planning a road trip to Mount Rushmore this summer (fingers crossed it actually works out!). Caleb has been talking and talking and talking about Mount Rushmore, and neither my husband or I have been, so we thought, "why the heck not"?! Our kids are actually great travellers (living in the sticks and having to drive a good distance to get anywhere taught them this!), so I really hope this works out, and we can go on this adventure and make some family summer memories! 
   Check out my Pinterest board for more ideas of things to do with the kids! 

   I hate school. I'm not 100% sure which part of it I dislike so much. I know I would almost die any time I heard the words "pop quiz"! I loved homeschooling...being able to work at my own pace (which varied between not getting anything done, and getting it ALL done on Monday so I could play outside and read Nancy Drew all week!), knowing my teacher (Mum) and classmates (sisters, and my brother for a while), but what I loved most about homeschooling was that knot was gone in my gut; that "school knot" I used to get everyday before school. I went to some other schools (Bible College for a year, and a Summer of Dance 'school'/missions trip), but those felt different because I choose on purpose to do those things. 
   I'm in school again now, and have been for the last 10 years....the school of Motherhood. 
   This school is chock full of pop quizzes! And I often get that knot in my stomach from the unknown about the day. I had heard that having kids can teach you a lot, but I really never knew how much.
   So, just as in school where (even though I was scared!) I still wanted to do my best, I want to do my best here too. I want my kids to grow up to be smart, and being able to think for themselves. I also want them to know who they are and where they come from, and to feel confidence in that. 
   So, I give to you a syllabus of sorts to the course of Motherhood. O.k, it's not really a syllabus at all (because I'm not telling you what to expect, as a syllabus would), but it is a list of things that in my time as a Mother, I want to do. I have flunked a few (a-hem...a lot) of the tests of this course, but I still want to do my best! 

Motherhood Syllabus 

Movie & Treat Night:
   Once a month, when my husband is working his weekend of night shifts, the kids and I pick a brand new movie on the Friday night, turn off the lights in the living room, grab some great snacks, and "go to the movies". I like it because I am usually too busy/don't want to just sit and watch a kids movie, but I purposely set this aside, and stay and snuggle with the kids. They look forward to a new movie and great snacks, and I know they think it's special that I stay to watch it with them. 

Interviews:
   I've done this with Caleb, but I really want to do this more often with all the kids. I want to set up the video camera and interview the kids, maybe just once a year, but at least a few times in their life. I want to do this because I want to remember their hilarious little voices (especially Keziah's loud and shrieky voice!)), the things they were thinking about at that point in their lives, and just to have it as a treasure because they really, honestly do grow up and change so fast!

Going on Dates:
   My husband does this, but I am bad at setting aside the time. The idea is simple: each child gets to go on a date with you!  Pick a place your child would like; it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. In fact, most kids think it's fun to go to a coffee shop and have some hot chocolate! To them it feels special, and it will give you one-on-one time with that child to ask about things in their life. If you want to be a willing student to this little teacher of yours, you will take alone moments like this to get the inside scoop on the 'curriculum', so to speak. 

Goods and Bads:
   At bedtime I like to ask the kids "what was the best part of your day?", and "what was the worst part of your day?". Sometimes the answers can be the same day after day, but every now and then one of the kids totally surprises me, and I get a glimpse into what they think makes a good and bad day. It's often the simplest thing (Abby once said the best part of her day was that I only gave her two pieces of potato to eat at dinner! haha!). The point is to give them a chance to A: think about their day, and B: share about their day.

Love Languages:
   Learning about love languages is important. If your child has a love language of quality time, and all you do is buy them gifts to show love, they might feel that you don't understand them, or even love them at all. As an adult example, my husband has a love language of gifts. He loves to give gifts, and he loved to get them. I have a love language of acts of service. You want to show me you love me? Do the dishes. For years Adam was buying me gifts, and I was doing acts of service, and we were both feeling mis-understood. Our love was being "lost in translation". We finally figured it out, and as our kids have been growing, we have been figuring out their love languages too. So, getting an idea of what kind of love language your child might have can help us Moms show a very direct, true to each child, kind of love. Read about this "love language" idea here.

   If you have any things that you do as a Mom that help you make the best of this school of Motherhood, please do share them with me! Seriously, please share!!!  And stay sharp for your next pop quiz! :)