Autism & What's Next

   I haven't written too many autism posts this summer, but I wanted to write one before the new school year started. A little re-cap of Caleb's summer; the good, the bad, and the ugly. As well as a look at what's coming next.

   For the most part, I would have to say this was Caleb's best summer ever. 
   He has come such a long way in the last few years, especially his verbal communication, and it made this summer seem easier. I think  his sisters being older (and a little more understanding of him) helped too. We also got our horse before the summer, and Caleb really enjoyed going and sitting out with the horse when he wanted to be alone. I think he appreciated the company that had no interest in verbally talking with him. 
   When we went places this summer, Caleb did his very best yet, hands down. By "his best" I mean he didn't run away and disappear, he didn't have a flailing kicking meltdown, he (tried his best to) use words to get his feelings across, and he had a good time! 
   Taking Caleb places in the past has always been a daunting task, and would honestly not be worth it half the time because it would end with Adam and I feel frustrated and having to leave where we were in a hurry (which, by the way made the girls cry, which added to the fun.)
   I am sitting here thinking back on this summer, and just being amazed. We went on many day trips, we travelled to see family, we spent lots of days at home doing nothing, we had people over, we had a birthday party, went to a birthday party, and he navigated his way through it all.

   Now, despite Caleb having the best summer he has ever had, there were some hairy parts. 
   One day we came home, and I (as I always do), had to tell Caleb to let his sisters out of the van first before he barrelled past them. He was getting agitated about it, and I asked if he needed to use the washroom and that's why he was in such a random hurry, but he yelled, "no!!", at me, so I told him that he just needed to let the girls out first then. And also to not be rude and yell at me, to which he said, "not to be rude and yell at Caleb!". Back talk. Perfect. 
   Anyway, he tried again to squish past the girls, and I said, "please sit in your seat", and he just started to loose it. I quickly got the girls out and told Caleb he needed to re-start before he got out of the van, and he acted like he calmed down little. I say acted because as soon as he jumped out of the van he just started screaming and he whipped his toys onto our porch, and really un-ravelling. 
   At this point Adam stepped in because he could see I was feeling un-ravelled myself because of the surprise nature of this meltdown. So, Adam told Caleb he needed to go to his room to calm down. To which Caleb screamed, "Dad will calm down at his room!!!", and ran up into his room and slammed the door. And slammed it again. Then he slammed it one more time. He likes to get his door slamming just right.
   Well, 30 minutes of screaming later, he stopped, and was laying in his bed crying. Like a boy just out of a trance and feeling lost and heartbroken at what he has just done.
   I'm still not sure why that melt-down started, but it was the worst one he and this summer. He had some other smaller versions (less screaming, shorter duration), but we could see the trail that led to them, so they didn't seem as bad, or like a set-back. 
   This last week or so he's been challenging again though. Just being rude, saying a lot of, "Caleb wants...", and "this is Caleb's!". I know he is 10 years old, I know he has come a long way, I know all the good things about him, but I sometimes have to remind myself that socially, he is about the same as his sisters; around 4 or 5.
   He will walk up to strangers to say, "I'm Caleb!" (which we've been trying to teach him is a more appropriate greeting than, "excuse me sir, hummingbirds have wings are so fast!". He'll say "sir" to a lady too. Oh yeah, that's not embarrassing {sarcasm, people|!). 
   His 4 year old sister, who we've also been trying to teach how to greet people by saying hello and her name (as a side note, we're not teaching them this to talk to strangers, but to appropriately talk to other children and safe adults), will do the same thing: walk up to a stranger and say, "hi! I'm Keziah!"-actually, it's more like "Kayiya" because she won't say her own name right, but that's a different story!
   The point is, he is doing things a four year old would do, and that still surprises me, and reminds me how much farther he needs to go. That thought can be overwhelming, but I know he is capable of getting where he needs to go in life because he is a fighter. 
   This summer, despite some speed bumps, has been his best. I know next summer will be even better. 

I took this picture of Caleb the morning after his big melt-down. You can see the blood-shot speckles around his eyes from screaming so hard for so long. He's making a squinting face because he likes to.

   This summer Caleb developed a love for hummingbirds. He insisted we get a feeder, and hang it outside of the window where he can see it as he eats his breakfast. He even spotted one on the hydro wire that comes directly to our house while we were sitting on the porch chatting with a friend.
   He spent a lot of time with the horse, loved feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs. He also loved chasing down and catching the hens who insisted on escaping! He loved jumping on the large round hay bales in our barn with his sisters, and would spend time jumping on the trampoline with them too.
   As for getting ready to go back to school, when I told him how many more days were left of summer, he was very excited about getting back to school. The last few weeks he has suddenly started talking about the school he went to for Kindergarten, a school he hasn't seen since we moved away from there (5 years ago!). He's been saying, "Caleb will go to college, and Caleb will teach kindergarten at Mountain Grove School!" (it's actually the Land O' Lakes Public School in Mountain Grove, but I can't believe he remembers it at all!). It's amazing to me that he's picked up on the idea of college (I think he got that from Toy Story 3), but that he also remembers kindergarten so fondly that he wants to go back there and be the kindergarten teacher! 
   This idea came to him on it's own, out of his own brain. And in the middle of summer! What 10 year old kid randomly thinks of going to college to become a teacher in the middle of their summer holiday?!? Love that nutty kid.
   Despite Caleb's setbacks and struggles due to autism, he has come to a place (thanks to amazing teachers and e.a's and principals!) where he looks forward to school with great anticipation.
   I look forward to it as well with that same anticipation. What will he learn this year? How much will he grow? Where will his struggles emerge, and what will he overcome?
   I have faith in Caleb's determination, I have faith in the amazing school we have him in, and the wonderful people who are charged with his care while he is there with them.
   A new school year to change and grow, and I look forward to seeing who Caleb has become at the end of this grade 5 road. Still himself, but stronger and smarter. One step closer to being all he can be.