So....all my kids are in school....
I guess I get to sit around eating candy and watching soap operas all day, which is what stay-at-home moms do anyway, now I get to do it without feeling bad. That, of course, is me being cheeky. I don't watch any soap operas, and I only eat candy all day on my treat day. :)
Alright, in all seriousness though, for the last 10 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom with kids at home with me. My days revolved around keeping house, making meals, and taking care of my kids. The only other time I didn't have a child at home was when Caleb was young and we were living in Bancroft at a camp, so I would work in the office while he was gone. But even that was 7 years ago for goodness sake!
What I'm trying to say is, where is the manual for motherhood 2.0?
I've been working the motherhood 1.0 system now for years, and never got the update to 2.0
I feel like this will be similar to when we switched our home PC to a Mac. That was hard. I still barely even know how to get the most from this Mac, and we've had it for a year!
So, motherhood 2.0 will be interesting. My husband and I have been talking for months about what I'm going to do. Not like what job am I going to do, but what, in general, am I going to do? I could get a job that doesn't get in the way of getting kids off to school, and meeting them off the bus at the end of their day. But we are living and surviving on my husbands salary, so do I need to work? No. Could I? Yes.
Here's the thing about me. I am an introverted extrovert. I can go out in public and have a good time, I can make conversation and appear normal (haha...fools). But when I think about working in a 'real' job, I get a knot in my stomach, and I start sweating more profusely than I normally do!
Like I said, I worked in the office of a camp, but that felt different because I lived there, and I knew everyone, and I felt comfortable with camp. Besides that I have been teaching horseback riding, and did that for years and years. But that was with my kids around, and in an environment I was comfortable with. I taught dance for a few years, but it started by accident (some friends asking me if I would teach them), and I thought it was fun, and never considered it a job. Especially because they didn't always pay, which I literally didn't care about!
As a teen I worked at Sears Portrait Studio and Sears Optical in Brantford....I'm not doing that again! I also worked at Tim Horton's for about 6 weeks. I honestly took that job to make enough extra money to buy a new saddle. Once I had the saddle, I left the job.
Anyway, all this rambling to say-what am I supposed to do!?!
I would like to financially contribute to the income of my family to help with things like paying down our mortgage faster, saving for a new vehicle, going on a holiday, etc., etc., etc.
But I also know that if I take my kids out of my day, there is still a lot of things I could do at my house. My job would still be a stay-at-home Mom, but I would only be caring for my kids when they were home from school. That just seems strange somehow.
I thought about teaching something in the school during the day. Likely art, or perhaps voice lessons. I just need to figure out the logistics of such a thing. I could also randomly work a shift here or there in Tweed at the Tim Horton's, or the grocery store. The health/bulk food store was alluring, but I dunno....
Besides wondering if I should get a job is the question of could. Do I have real world skills to get a job? I'm not too sure I do!
The role of motherhood, whether it be the original version, this updated version, or the 3.0 (kids moving out/going to college), or 4.0 (kids getting married and starting their own families), motherhood has to be more than changing diapers, cooking dinner, cleaning and doing laundry or helping a preschooler glue coloured macaroni on a Father's Day gift.
I think the most important job for a mom is to nurture her children. And I can do that job whether they are here all day or not.
Nurturing involves being a model of love and joy, but also of humility when mistakes are made. It means pouring into children what you hope to see in them as adults; compassion and kindness, forgiveness and grace. Being generous and discerning, and thinking of others first.
A nurturing Mom takes time (even just a smidge) to go into her child's world, to see things with the imagination of a (fill in the blank) year old.
Playing, reading, singing ridiculous children's songs while driving around, cuddling, kissing, and being silly are all part of this important job-even more important than getting the floors washed that day. Also taking pictures of events that might normally make us irritated-like a child that has coloured on the wall. You're mad, but it's also cute, so you're going to take a picture before cleaning it up and administering discipline.
A mom provides empathetic understanding from a position of strength and support. That's true whether she's dealing with a toddler or a teen...except for the part about colouring on the wall.
My update in motherhood is happening, whether or not I want it to. I didn't want this Mac originally, but the hubby insisted we should get it. He said something like, "our current computer is so out of date that if we need to update at all, we are going to need to learn a whole new system. So, we can either learn everything new with the new Windows system, or learn everything new with a Mac". He felt a Mac was better for us and our needs, so, in other words, he thought it was better.
I'm not trying to start a PC vs Mac debate, what I want to so is say that if an update is essential, why not update to (what you think is) the best?
Motherhood 2.0 will be difficult to navigate at first, but I can choose to do whatever will get me by, or I can choose the best. If that means I get a job while my kids are at school or not isn't the point. The point is that my true job as a Mom is to be that person in my kids life who they can count on for love and support.
I can endeavour to know my kids for who they are as individuals, not just as "those little people I'm looking after". I need to bring out the best in each of my children as they, in turn, bring out the best in me. I can be an example of living a life of faith, and of using the unique gifts God gives each person.
I'm not saying that each day needs to be full of these things, otherwise us Moms would be frazzled and burnt out. We would be pushing our kids out the door for school, desperate for the chance to be rid of them for a few hours! Doing the best you can is better than doing it all. Whatever it is that is your best, do it. I don't need to do what I see is your best, or the best of that Mom you see at play group who seems to have it all together!!! She's a faker, by the way. :) O.k., maybe she's not, I shouldn't judge.
Being a nurturer is both meant for our children, and for ourselves.
So, with that being said, for right now, I'm not getting a job outside of my house. For now, I'm taking the time to get adjusted to motherhood 2.0. The first step in this new system is to take a step back, breath, and feel like I've accomplished something. I'm sending my 3 kids, who are brats a lot of the time, I will admit, but they are also genuinely sweet and loving kids. They are really silly and happy, they use their manners (....most of the time...), and adjust well to new situations. They are bright and willing to learn, and all have a spark that I envy.
I think I've done a pretty decent job with motherhood 1.0, and I hope that as I figure out this new version of motherhood I can continue to feed into my children what they need.
Hi, I'm Amy-Lyn!
I am the lady behind this here blog! I live in the sticks with my animals, my super handsome husband, and my
3 amazing kids!
Here you'll find things from recipes (gluten-free, paleo, and strait up junk food!), DIY ideas, thoughts on raising a son with autism, and whatever else pops into my brain! : )
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